How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize