I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
