yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
