Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
