His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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