Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize