im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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