the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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