So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
