Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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