Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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