For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize