I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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