That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
