Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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