So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
