just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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