So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
