and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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