I wanna bring you to show and tell
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
