i just had sex bonerless
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
