My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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