dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
