Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
