if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
