I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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