dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
