there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
