TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize