btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
