No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She announced her abortion via fbk
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize