Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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