I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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