I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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