I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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