My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I believe in your delicious
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
