when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
