Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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