His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
