she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
