Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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