I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
