Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
