dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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