I don't think brook has ever known best
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
