Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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