i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we're making bets on your personal life
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
