I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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