Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize