My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
