i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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