some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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