i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
