Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
