Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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