no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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