Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
