my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize