Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
