I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Randomize
