Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
