Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
