just come out here and I will go home with you...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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