His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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