she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
